Monday, November 10, 2008

Hazel's HOTmail: "Fellatio 101"

Dear Hazel,

I am a newly married woman and I want to learn more about pleasing my husband orally. On our wedding night, I tried giving him a blow job for the first time. My husband was encouraging and patient but I know that I did not do that great of a “job”. I don’t feel comfortable talking with my friends about this because whenever the subject of oral sex comes up, they frown and talk about how disgusting it is.
Can you recommend any books or videos that can help me?

T.D. in Hampton Roads

P.S. I met you at Afr’Am in May and I enjoyed reading your book.

Dear T.D.,
Thank you so much for stopping by our table and purchasing my book at Afr’Am. It means a lot that you not only enjoyed “Bare Necessities” but also that you took the time to write me.
I want to congratulate you on your new marriage and for being an independent thinker and taking control of your sexuality with regards to oral sex. Your friends may “frown and talk about how disgusting” oral sex is when you are around but I am willing to bet that when no one is watching, they are blowing their men senseless.
There are a few resources I would suggest you check out. The first is a book by Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. titled Pleasure: A Woman’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and Deserve. This is an excellent book filled with information and techniques for every area of your sex life, whether you are a novice or very experienced. There is a section called “Fellatio 101”.The other is The Sinclair Institute’s Better Oral Sex Techniques video that can be ordered at
Practice makes perfect and you will get better with time. It is wonderful that your new husband is patient. This is extremely important and will go a long way in building your confidence. Remember, he wants you to get the hang of this and will allow you ALL of the practice sessions you need.
Relax and enjoy!

Hazel Mills
Got a question for Hazel on love, sex, and relationships? Email her at Remember to put Hazel’s HOTmail in the subject line.